Life insurance can be an emotional topic that is not always pleasant to talk about. Any conversation that revolves around mortality can be a source of discomfort, which makes it all the more important that you are intentional and considerate both in the preparation and throughout the discussion. This can be particularly true when it comes to those who are most likely to benefit from whichever policy you choose to purchase, such as your spouse.
Here are some guidelines that can help you to discuss life insurance with your spouse.
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Choose the Right Time and Place
Conversations about finances are always about more than money. Our financial decisions are a direct representation of our preferences and and priorities. This can certainly be the case with life insurance, which by definition involves a discussion of life, death, and what comes after.
Therefore, before starting to discuss life insurance, make sure that you are able to do so in a private, undisturbed setting. This will ensure that you will each have the space and freedom to share your perspectives, while leaving an opportunity for your partner to respond accordingly without being interrupted.
It is also useful to state your intentions to discuss life insurance before the meeting. That will allow both of you to prepare mentally for the conversation that follows.
Review the Different Options
There are many different types of life insurance policies, with most breaking down into two basic baskets: term life insurance and whole life insurance.
Though there are multiple differences between these two types of policies, in essence term insurance policies are set for a specific period of time (usually ranging between 10-30 years) whereas whole life insurance policies never expire. Conducting some preliminary research will allow you to become familiar with the various options that you have to choose from. While you do not have to become an expert (see below), it is a good idea to develop a basic understanding of how life insurance works.
This will allow you to better explain your desire to purchase a life insurance policy, the type of policy you would like to buy, and the desired death benefit that you wish to leave behind for your beneficiaries.
Be Open and Understanding
Different individuals can have different opinions, and even spouses might disagree on the best ways to spend their limited resources. This is definitely relevant when it comes to life insurance.
For example, you might believe that term life insurance, which is significantly cheaper than whole life policies, is the best solution for your finances. Your partner might disagree.
However, immediately shooting down (or even worse, ridiculing) their opinion is a sure-fire way to stifle discussion. It will cause your partner to immediately become defensive, while preventing the adoption of practical steps that might bridge any potential differences.
Instead, honestly sharing your desires and viewpoint is the best way to discuss your current finances as well as your shared future. Doing so will also encourage your partner to respond in kind. This can drive you towards a pathway forward that is acceptable for you both.
Speak about Long-Term Goals
Having an open and honest discussion relies upon sharing your both immediate and farther reaching objectives. If you are only discussing your short-term hopes, you are leaving out the most important part of the calculation.
That’s because it is more than likely that your long-term goals are not confined simply to your individual desires, but also relate to your family as well. At its essence, life insurance is therefore a financial product that is meant to replace your monetary value (either your salary or the value of the work you provide at home). Life insurance is a financial product designed to support your family after your death, helping them to transition to new lives in your absence.
Thus, when you have this important discussion, make sure that you communicate your stated desire to protect your loved ones, especially your partner, in the event that you are no longer around. Of course, the opposite also holds true, and it is also meant to protect you if your partner passes away. Be upfront about your concerns (i.e. taking care of your household) and how you want to make sure that both of you are able to carry on if the worst does indeed happen.
Consult a Financial Professional
There is a reason that the best financial professionals go through years of school and on-the-job training. Financial decisions are complex and multifaceted, and it can be difficult for individuals without the requisite background to comprehend all the ins-and-outs.
Hopefully, the outcome of your discussion is a joint decision to engage with a financial professional who can guide you through this decision. They are the ones best situated to offer the full range of options at your disposal, along with the various trade-offs between different types of policies.
If you are unsure of which professional to consult, ask around amongst your friends, colleagues, and extended social network. Chances are that someone in your orbit has a recommendation or two on a trusted expert that can help you reach a decision that is responsive to both your current financial constraints and future objectives.
Conclusion: Deciding Together
For some, discussions about life insurance are no different than any other financial decision. For them, a simple look at the black-and-white numbers is all that is needed. For others, however, life insurance is inherently tied up with emotion. Discussing the death of a spouse, even though it is hypothetical, can trigger feelings of fear and angst.
For that reason, prepare the groundwork for your discussion by finding a quiet, undisturbed location at a time that is convenient for you both. Come prepared to share your perspective, while also making sure that you are ready to listen to your partner and respond with compassion. This is essential if you want to decide together on the best life insurance option for your family.
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